So you go to bed and everything is fine. You have just talked to your mum and dad and siblings and they all seem to be doing well. Your significant other is causing their usual tantrums but you have kinda learned to figure out that when they do they are just trying to get your attention and its their weird way of telling you they love you. So basically, its a random Tuesday night and you go to bed happy.
But then in the middle of the night you wake up. You have a bad feeling but you shake it off thinking its maybe another nightmare that you can't remember. So you go back to sleep then when you wake up you find a text from your girlfriend. She has been feeling insecure lately. You know why but you don't really bother to put her mind to rest because you know that she is always in your corner regardless of what you do. You decide to give her hell about it...you love her but you think she needs to quiet down a bit. So you act angry, say a few things that are definitely going to get her quiet down and hurt her in the process. But you say them anyway - you can apologize for them later.
She goes quiet and you have won the argument for the day. She's always bringing that issue up, cant she understand that I am a man and i need to entertain myself sometimes even if I'm just overly flirting with another woman. I mean how else would they know how much of a stud i am. She should understand you because you really are a stud - how else would she stay after all the hell you have put her through. You definitely are a stud!
She went to bed last night in tears. She isn't sure about him in their relationship anymore. She has clearly done all she could to let him know that she is ride or die but lately he seems to be more interested in other women who seem younger more beautiful, less baggage, more potential. It scares her to think that all the time she was working on their relationship all he was looking for was his next prey and he seems to hve found it. She's trying hard to keep her cool but its all not working. She feels like she needs to let go but she also fears that she hasnt done enough.
'a few years ago i would have walked away. What the hell is wrong with me?' she thinks to herself. She cant really talk to her close friends coz all her close friends are his friends and she doesn't want to make him look bad to their friends. Problem is she shared all her friends with him and he never shared any of his. Now she feels like she has no one in her corner and the thought of that just makes her cry like a baby. Anytime she thinks about how he hung up on her the other night or promised to call but didn't or simply ignored her texts she can't help but shed tears.
She knows he knows that she wont go anywhere. Maybe that's why he does all these things to her. Or maybe he just doesn't care whether she stays or leaves. Its eating her up she has sleepless nights and her appetite is down to bare survival. She is losing weight and she feels helpless so she cries all day and all night when she is alone because at the end of the day all she can do is reminisce on the good days and cry.
Why the hell cant she get it. I love her but we are not married yet. I will propose someday but i just got a new job and i have all this attention from all these ladies. can't she just get that at the end of the day she is the one that i call my girlfriend. Isn't that good enough for her. Maybe i should just switch off my phone for a few days. No, if i do that I cant contact all my cool new friends. I'll probably just blacklist her or better yet have a secret number. I will still have her when i come back to use my normal number anyway. She's becoming a bit too much for me anyway.
Its been six years. You now realize that all your cool friends liked you coz you could spend as fast as a race car. You have a lot of responsibilities now and its really hard to find a girl that's in your corner that you can marry because you feel like it is time to settle down. You think about maybe dating a girl still in campus but how will you know if she's not with you simply because you have a job and can cater for her needs.
Then you think about her. You wonder how different life would have been if only you had seen the diamond in her and not the mud that covered her. If only you had chosen her then and not taken her for granted. Maybe it would be different. Maybe she would use her crazy problem solving methods and helped you manage all these overwhelming responsibilities. But she is doing well for herself now. you heard that she had a set of twins.She was never materialistic and she didn't get married to a rich guy but you heard that their business was doing well and they had opened a second branch in the neighbouring town.She was always good with money so you are not surprised that her business is doing well. She always had dreams of doing that.
It's all bittersweet for you but you - you are happy that she found happiness but you are bitter that you didn't take your chance when you had it. Then you remember that night what if this was the nightmare? But hindsight is 20/20 and you need to start sorting out your bills, pay child support, pay your car insurance, sort out your parents and still support your little sister's extravagant lifestyle.
